When Lynn went on holiday for 2 weeks recently we had to use a mini-disc player in her absence. This received a rapturous round of applause. Not only that, but the beginners and intermediate classes went well, finished 10 minutes earlier than normal and without any interruptions. This prompted an extra-ordinary crew meeting to discuss the merits of using one or the other. At great expense plus the odd bung (well an "admit one" given to Malcolm Kearney) we have managed to obtain this document and can reveal exactly what went on at the meeting and the outcome that was agreed by all.

MINI DISC	DJ
Will play what you want.	Plays what it wants
Will only play the same song twice in a row if requested.	Plays the same song twice in a row regardless.
Has no faults	This newsletters is only 8 pages long!
Looks good on the table	Looks good behind/under the table
Always plays the music on time	Runs past the dancers to play the next track
Doesn’t talk to the teacher	Gives the teacher plenty of lip and grief.
Stays on the table	Wanders aimlessly in the building
Very polite	Argumentative
Doesn’t eat much	Goes for chips during the beginners class
Stays sober regularly	Gets drunk regularly
Looks like a box	Looks like Carol Vorderman
Can’t dance properly	Can’t dance properly
Can’t sing properly	Can’t sing at all.
Won’t help with the equipment	Helps with the equipment but grumbles
Looks good in brushed aluminium	Looks good in a crew shirt & head phones
Flashes its lights	Flashes at every opportunity
Gets turned on with a switch	Gets turned on with a couple of gins and the sight of a pert male bum
Blows up in the wet	Puts bins on stage in the wet.

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