Following the success over the last few weeks of the hit single by Baz Luhrman Wear Sunscreen, we thought it would be a good idea to do a Ceroc version. Please note that any similarity to the original version is purely intentional!

Ladies & gentlemen of the Ceroc class at Welwyn/Hatfield. Wear dance shoes. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, dance shoes would be it. The long-term benefits of dance shoes have been proved by dancers, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power & beauty of your taxi dancers. Oh never mind. You will not understand the power & beauty of your taxi dancers until you are of an intermediate standard. But trust me, in 1 year, you’ll look back and recall in a way you can’t grasp now, how much they helped you and how fabulous they really were.

You are not as bad as you imagine. Don’t worry about the next move. Or worry, but know that worrying is about as effective as a shut window at a hot tea dance.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, such as the unexpected encounter with the 6 ’ 3" tall Amazonian mud wrestler in the beginners class.

Do one thing every Tuesday that scares you, like criticising the DJs choice of music.

Smile. Don’t be reckless with the doorman. Don’t put up with people who are reckless doing the "death drop".

Look at each other. Don’t waste time on other venues. Sometimes your ahead, sometimes your behind. The race is long but, in the end, it’s only to the end of the record.

Remember the compliments you receive. Give compliments back. If you don’t succeed in doing this you won’t get many dances.

Keep your admit ones. Throw away your old flyers. Step back.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know whether you want to do a Cerocshop or not.

Some of the most interesting women I know still don’t ask men to dance.

Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know are venue managers.

Do Cerocshops.

Be kind to your venue manager. You’ll miss him when he’s gone.

Maybe you’ll taxi, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll demonstrate, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll introduce some style at 40. Maybe you’ll still be Cerocing on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, congratulate yourself for doing it, and berate anyone who knocks you.

Do I dance as a man or as a women? Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s........except for the men.

Listen to the teachers instructions, even if you don’t follow them.

Enjoy your teacher. Use her every way you can. Do not be afraid of her or of what Lynn says about her. She’s the friendliest teacher you’ll ever know.

Dance, even if it means leaving the bar or getting out of your seat.

Do not read other Newsletters. They will only make you feel depressed and glad that you have Robin’s Nest.

Get to know the crew. You never know when they’ll be good for some credit.

Be nice to beginners. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to be good dancers in the future.

Understand that moves come and go, but with a precious few good ones you should hold on to the person you’ve fancied for weeks.

Work hard to bridge the gap between beginner and intermediate, because the better you get, the more you will dance with the people who helped you when you were starting out.

Try the Kasbah once, but leave before it gets too hot.

Try Cambridge once but leave before it gets too crowded.

Pretzel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Stepchecks are good. Cerocshops are great. You too will get better. And when you do, you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about, was I really that bad, and is there anything that Mike doesn’t do at the venue.

Respect your DJ. Don’t expect anyone else to support you if you don’t.

Maybe we’ll use a CD player. Maybe we’ll us a minidisk. But you never know when either one might pack up.

Don’t mess to much with spats and braces, or by the time you are 40 you will look a right prat.

Be choosy what merchandise you buy, but be patient with those who sell it, as Martin has a mean streak.

This advice is about Ceroc. Dancing it is a way of exercising your body, keeping fit, meeting new friends, adopting a new social calendar and totally changing your life.

But trust me on the dance shoes!

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